Challenges: God does have you in the palm of his hand

Okay, we talked about in the last post how sometimes it is hard to stay clean. Life happens and you get too busy. Or the calendar reminds you of the anniversary of something you want to forget. Or maybe you are one of those people who wants to use anytime their anniversary comes up. Or any of a number of other things.

Somehow you get through the challenge. And with each challenge you grow stronger. You trust God just a little bit more.  You realize, you might be stronger, but you wouldn’t have made it without God. And friends. And the tools you’ve learned at AA or NA.  Or any of a number of other places and people you’ve learned from since getting clean and sober.  And you realize God really does have you in the palm of his hand.

Maybe you’ve used your personal creativity to get through the challenge, as I do. Maybe someday I’ll post some of my early painting that really helped me at the beginning. It wasn’t always pretty, but even when it’s ugly, or even slightly disturbing, somehow it helps. My mind would be slightly clearer, at least for a few moments, and on I would go.  And perhaps you find, like me, that what you thought was disturbing other people actually like. And sometimes the painting helped with the migraines that I used to experience.  It’s really cool when something like painting helps with physical pain.

I try not to quote from the Bible on this site, because religion gives so many people bad “vibes”. But this quote fits so well: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  (II Corinthians 12: 9).  I am weak, but God is strong.  He’s the one who keeps me clean.

When you are going crazy…

Face it, when we’re in recovery, we all have times we feel like we’re going crazy, particularly at the beginning.  For me, one of the ways I managed it is because I’ve been painting, and painting, and painting… I started painting at about 90 days, when I was about to go crazy. It took on a life of its own for awhile, and people couldn’t believe I had a job and painted so much! I didn’t sleep enough, I know, but I just knew I HAD to paint. I went to meetings, prayed, went to therapy, and painted…

I painted crazy things, red when the pain got so great I wanted to cut, a broken me, words on a multi-colored background, and many more. When my therapist told me to journal about my feelings, and to write down positive and happy things, I painted them instead, it was more intense, and more just me.

So that’s the hope I want you to find in this site: hope that you too can be clean, and that by being clean, you’ll become more the person you are supposed to be. And in finding that person you are supposed to be, you won’t have to be the drugged up being that you’ve been.